Do I need an introduction? Perhaps. I'm "Mare", as Qweenie has called me for the last 23 years. Our friendship started out innocently in an English class where the teacher's less-than-lady-like posture and disposition completely distracted us with a crotch shot every day for an hour. We were 11-year-old girls. She was the giggly one. Here we are, 23 years later, plotting and planning, as usual. We are still those little girls, only now, we're much taller and have our own children.
Those children are the very thing keeping our lives more than interesting in a way that only a mommy can understand. I have a 6-year-old boy and a 3.5-year-old girl. Both are very entertaining and mildly annoying at the same time. I love them with all my life.
My son, we'll call him "Lo", has a fascination with poop. Not the fecal matter itself, but the word and the thought of it. He finds it humorous in ways that I cannot explain. It sounds funny. It looks funny. To think about it is funny. To hear one say the word "poop" puts him into a hysterical, giggling fit that only stops when I use the "big voice" to tell him that poop, indeed, is not funny.
I walked away from him as he was doing his homework the other day. His task was to draw 3 items that begin with the letter "P". I thought this was an easy task not warranting supervision. So, ten minutes later my child brings his piece of artistic mastery to me and I proceed to quiz him.
Mom: "What's this triangle with the circles on it?"
Lo: "A piece of pizza."
Mom: "What's this circle with the little yellow square on it?"
Lo: "A pancake with butter on it."
Mom: "Is that a hot dog?"
Lo: "No."
Mom: "Then what is it?"
Lo: "It's a poop." (hysterics ensue)
Yes, it was a log. I shouldn't have, because my job is to set an example, but went ahead and laughed my ass off, then proceeded to pick up the phone and dial. I had to share this with someone and who better to share it with than my BFF of 23 years? She masterminded a plan that would then turn the poop into a dachshund "puppy" by adding legs, a head and a tail. His teacher is none the wiser.
Today's bit of awesome mom-ness was brought to you by the letter "P".
~"Mare"~(Guest Blogger Extraordinaire)
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Thanks for sharing with us Mare. Please come back again soon and tell us more funny/crude kid stories....they're my FAVORITE!!
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