Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Life is Unpredictable...

...and then you die.

Or, is that, "Life's a bitch, and then you die"?

Well, whatever. The point is: SHIT HAPPENS and people have to cancel or reschedule. Especially during the holidays when things are chaotic and everyone is spread thin.

Roll with the punches. Don't cry like a big, fat baby when someone ruins your plans. Everyone has shit to do...

...especially on Christmas Eve.

Life is unpredictable just like your reaction to my sudden change of plans, WHICH, I had no control over.

One finds oneself faced with a list of priorities on a daily basis. One must choose carefully from this list. What is important to one person is less important to another.

I chose and now you're bent out of shape.

Life is a bitch and then you die.

Life has lessons to teach. This be only one in a long-ass list of karmic schoolings.

Merry Frackin' Christmas!!

Guest Blogger Extraordinaire
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Monday, December 21, 2009

My best friend is mean to me (and other lies I'll tell you...)

She's soooo mean to me!!

She wants me to blog more...

and work out...

and be creative....

and get out of the house more....

and take more pictures...

She's a real task master I tell ya. She seems to think she does it out of love.....

I think she secretly hates me and is trying to slowly "love" me to death..... because the girl can hold a grudge and I'm pretty sure I may have pissed in her cheerios at some point in the last 23 years...

Actually she's pretty awesome and I'm lucky to have her, so I guess, for her, I shall TRY to blog more.....

and get my fat ass on the treadmill more...

and be creative....

and take more pictures....

But she better be grateful demmit!

After all I'm doing all this for her....*wink*
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Saturday, December 19, 2009



(plural she·nan·i·gans)


1. questionable act: something that is deceitful, underhanded, or otherwise questionable ( usually used in the plural )

2. trick or prank: a playful trick, mischievous prank, or other display of high spirits

[Mid-19th century]

I love that word....Shenanigans!

It just rolls off the tongue....and it sounds like what it means...mischief. How fun! I love trouble, well good mischief anyway....

My husband and I love shenanigans, especially if we're pulling shenanigans on the kids...and our kids were born suckers. Unfortunately they're getting smarter, they're onto us now. We have to plan bigger and better, and be very flexible. There used to be a time when a simple fabrication could bring a days worth of giggles to the King and I.....

Like the time they were whining during a particularly long car ride and we started telling them about their older "brother" Bruce.

"Bruce used to chew bubble gum."

"Oh yeah Bruce was a huge vikings fan."

"Man could Bruce catch fish! He was a born fisherman I tell ya..."

"Bruce used to whine in the car too, that's why we left him at that truck stop...."

and then from the backseat...."Heeeeeyyyy you guys made Bruce up, didn't you?"
They were answered with gales of laughter from the front seat but now they've caught on...

They're doing it back to us now, and they're getting really good at it. Really good.

My mother sent them fake dog doo for Christmas, so it's a safe guess that this is genetic. She was the Queen of Shenanigans when I was a kid and I learned well....

I think as she hands the torch (or dog doo) down to the next generation, I can safely say that they too have learned well.
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Friday, December 18, 2009

Cuz time-outs only work for so long.....

Kids will test you.....

When people tell you that kids aren't doing things maliciously, they are stupid or childless, or their children walk all over them and they're oblivious....

Because children WILL test you, and they test you to see what they have to do, how far to go to get what they want...

It's human nature....

and guess what people "Children are human too!!"

But here's a little tip from me to you, you are in fact, the adult in the situation....

That means you get to dole out random punishment with out time limits, you get to swat a butt if you feel it necessary and you sure as hell have the right to make their life harder for 5 damn minutes....

I am so sick of people who say "we don't eat at restaurants because the kids won't behave" or "oh he makes that noise all the time, we just ignore it"....

The hell you say!

You are the adult, you explain the behavior you expect, and the consequences for not behaving appropriately in each situation....and then, and here's the biggest part, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

YOU have to be the bad guy, you are NOT their friend, You are their teacher....their PARENT.

I promise you my kids are far from perfect and I don't go around beating them all day (though some days it seems like I should start) but they are well behaved in public, they treat people with respect and they never make other people homicidal while they are TRYING to enjoy a nice dinner out at the local Olive Garden.....

okay so maybe I have an agenda with this post....

perhaps it's not just about me trying to pass on some helpful tips to my readers....

Maybe I just want the woman with the over-tired kindergartner to drag his squealing ass out to the car and take him home so I can enjoy my umlimited salad and bread sticks in peace....

Oh, and um, Waitress.....

Yes, could I have some more of that free sample wine please...Thank you!

Next time I'll tell ya'll about how after enough "free samples" of wine at Olive Garden, you won't care how loud other peoples children are.....or whether you had shoes on when you got there.....
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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ouija board, Would you work for me ? I have got to say Hello to an old friend.............

I don't know how to say what I want to say....

My thoughts are disjointed and random...

I dream I have conversations with her and I want to pick up the phone and finish them.

She has been missed everyday of the last 10 years and I would give anything to hear her voice again....

Knowing her was a blessing in my life....

Today would have been her 37th birthday and I will raise a glass in her honor and to her memory.....

Caitlee, Happy Birthday and I love you!
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Monday, December 14, 2009

the goose is getting fat.....

Today I am one step closer to being ready for the holidays......


Now to do the rest.....

Baking cookies, checking the naughty list (I just know I made it on there this year...WOOT!), shopping, cleaning, more baking, a little more decorating....

I'm already too tired for all this....

Perhaps an Irish coffee and a warm fire is more my speed....

I'll just tell the kids that they were so naughty Santa won't even be stopping to give them coal....

Is it possible to find convincing coal nowadays? I mean if I use a brickette won't they figure that out? I guess they are fairly smart, hell they already know I'm lying about Santa....

So coal is out....

Better go for the 'Martha Stewart' version of Christmas instead....

Could someone get me her number please, I'll pay her in snarky comments and gin...
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Saturday, December 05, 2009

"P" is for Poop

Do I need an introduction? Perhaps. I'm "Mare", as Qweenie has called me for the last 23 years. Our friendship started out innocently in an English class where the teacher's less-than-lady-like posture and disposition completely distracted us with a crotch shot every day for an hour. We were 11-year-old girls. She was the giggly one. Here we are, 23 years later, plotting and planning, as usual. We are still those little girls, only now, we're much taller and have our own children.

Those children are the very thing keeping our lives more than interesting in a way that only a mommy can understand. I have a 6-year-old boy and a 3.5-year-old girl. Both are very entertaining and mildly annoying at the same time. I love them with all my life.

My son, we'll call him "Lo", has a fascination with poop. Not the fecal matter itself, but the word and the thought of it. He finds it humorous in ways that I cannot explain. It sounds funny. It looks funny. To think about it is funny. To hear one say the word "poop" puts him into a hysterical, giggling fit that only stops when I use the "big voice" to tell him that poop, indeed, is not funny.

I walked away from him as he was doing his homework the other day. His task was to draw 3 items that begin with the letter "P". I thought this was an easy task not warranting supervision. So, ten minutes later my child brings his piece of artistic mastery to me and I proceed to quiz him.

Mom: "What's this triangle with the circles on it?"
Lo: "A piece of pizza."
Mom: "What's this circle with the little yellow square on it?"
Lo: "A pancake with butter on it."
Mom: "Is that a hot dog?"
Lo: "No."
Mom: "Then what is it?"
Lo: "It's a poop." (hysterics ensue)

Yes, it was a log. I shouldn't have, because my job is to set an example, but went ahead and laughed my ass off, then proceeded to pick up the phone and dial. I had to share this with someone and who better to share it with than my BFF of 23 years? She masterminded a plan that would then turn the poop into a dachshund "puppy" by adding legs, a head and a tail. His teacher is none the wiser.

Today's bit of awesome mom-ness was brought to you by the letter "P".

(Guest Blogger Extraordinaire)
-Visit my photo blog-

Thanks for sharing with us Mare. Please come back again soon and tell us more funny/crude kid stories....they're my FAVORITE!!
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Friday, November 27, 2009

Yes Folks, we have a winner!!

The winner of the $25 Macy's Gift Card is Marianne Soga from Worth a thousand words.....

Look for it in the mail shortly....

Happy Holidays to All!!!
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Monday, November 23, 2009

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese (A Give Away)

I mentioned last week that I would be giving away a $25 Macy's gift card, well today is the day!! Okay not today but today is the day I tell you about it.....

Here's the plan:

Leave a comment on this post telling me what you are thankful for this year. It can be humorous or touching, totally up to you. For every comment you leave (only one per day please) you get an entry to win the gift card. On Thanksgiving night I will pick a winner and announce it here on Friday...

So get to posting my lovelies... And have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thursday, November 19, 2009

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

As some of you may remember last year I wrote about Macy's Believe Campaign, this year they're doing it again.

I am thrilled to tell you that once again Macy's is collecting letters in a special Santa letterbox at all Macy’s stores and for each letter received, Macy’s will donate $1 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. You can also stop by there and find out how to enter to win a trip to New York to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Make-A-Wish is a wonderful foundation that is very near and dear to my heart and I am very happy to be able to do something to support them!! So if you have some time please sit down with someone you love and write a couple of letters to Santa.

Don't forget to follow Macy's on Facebook and Twitter too.

Also, CBS will be premiering a new original animated special called, “Yes, Virginia.” on Friday, December 11, at 8 p.m. ET. which is awesome cause new Christmas specials are always welcome.

And as if that wasn't enough......I'm giving away a Macy's gift card for $25 next week. Watch for your chance to win!

Now run and get those letters written.....
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009

TWLOHA - To Write Love On Her Arms

In honor of TWLOHA Day.....

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

To Write Love On Her Arms Day is a day where anyone can write the words love on their arms, to support those who are fighting against depression and those who are trying to recover." ~~TWLOHA fan page

Click to learn more about TWLOHA
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Monday, November 09, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Haiku Friday: October 30, 2009

Haiku Friday

Costumes and Children
All Hallows Eve is at hand
Mayhem to be had

Trick or Treat
Mama steals the goody bag
"Kids, go brush your teeth"

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wordless Wednesday: Oct. 28, 2009




Check here for more Wordless Wednesday
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Monday, October 26, 2009

Monday Morning Macro

Monday Morning Macro Button

Okay so this Monday Morning Macro thing is something my oldest friend just started over on her blog and she's been nagging me to join here goes. I'm not sure this is what she was looking for (am learning all kinds of new photography stuff) but the spirit is willing even if the knowledge is weak.

See more Monday Morning Macro here....Thanks!
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Sunday, October 04, 2009

Weekly Winners: Sept. 27 ~ Oct. 3

I haven't done this in months so please bear with me...LOL

playin' on the 'puter

dog day afternoon

To see other Weekly Winners please visit Lotus....

Have a great week all!
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Friday, October 02, 2009

Funny Bone Friday

How to wake up your

Have a great weekend!
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Friday, September 25, 2009

The Adventures First.......Explainations Take Such A Dreadful Time.

No more excuses, here I am. Take it or leave it, LOL.

Starting a new Bloggy "thing" I'm going to call Funny Bone Friday, basically if something cracks me up during the week I'll post it here on Friday. I don't know whether it will be a photo, video or just a joke but it'll be funny and a fun way to kick off the weekend. If you want to join me please do, post something that had you *LOL* or *LMAO* during the previous week and link back to me here.....

Hopefully we'll all get some chuckles out of it and who knows maybe we'll be a little happier from all the laughing! So here goes....

Funny Bone Friday - Sept.25, 2009

This video was posted by a friend of mine on Facebook. I cried from laughing so hard. Who wouldn't want to get that kind of revenge! It was perfect....

So there ya first attempt at Funny Bone Friday, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Have a great weekend!!
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Monday, July 20, 2009

It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then....

So once again I have neglected my poor little blog.

Most likely my few loyal readers have abandoned me....but maybe not!

I guess we'll soon find out...

In addition to the traveling and fun we've been having this summer, I've been trying to lose weight. Trying to get more and more active, which has actually been fairly easy to do since there's a lot around 'The Court' that needs to be done....

My youngest son, 'Ace', has decided that we (as in he and I) should start doing yoga a few times a week.....(pray for me would you?) We start this ritual torture.... oops I meant yoga routine, this week.

With my new found exercise regimen in mind I am posting this great video from the people at GE....I hope it gives you a giggle and a good excuse to use on the hubs/wifey for some shiny new appliances!

Hopefully I'll be back soon (the kids are back to school in 3 weeks so cross your fingers).....

Have a great week!
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Friday, April 17, 2009

I Like Games and Free Stuff too!!

Play for a chance to win a Camera! I'm playing too so you better hope you beat me...LOL

And please come back and let me know if you're a winner!!
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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Book Review: Monkeewrench

Monkeewrench Monkeewrench by P.J. Tracy

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

So my husband picked this book up for me at the library because he knew I was coming to the end of the series of John Sanford books I was reading and thought this might be of interest to me.

I have to say that overall it was a pretty good book, sadly the ending was a bit more convoluted than it needed to be and I totally figured out who the killer was halfway through, though I had a harder time with the motive this person had.

Overall it was a decent story that was executed well. It kept me interested. I've read that there are more in this 'series' so I am looking forward to seeing if these authors (yes there are two) are able to hold my interest and keep the momentum going from book to book.

View all my reviews.
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Saturday, January 31, 2009

Photo Hunt: Furry

Peace at Last

for more Furry photos:

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Power 'Tools' for Chics (or...Awesome fun for your whoo ha)

Dude, I know I already posted less than a week ago about sex toy giveaways on some of my favorite blogs but I gotta tell you about this one cuz it's more "personal"...

Janet at Planet Of Janet is offering a Lily to one lucky commenter, and I know you wanna be that commenter!
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Monday, January 26, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

My friend Erica tagged me on Facebook for this and since I wanted to post something today I figured I'd do it here and 'feed' it there....

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this on Facebook, go to “notes” under tabs (or the + sign) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I won't be tagging 25 people for this.

2. I used to love to cook and bake.

3. I've been married for 12 years.

4. King and I have been together for over 13 years.

5. I'm in love with Pembroke Welsh Corgis and would have a herd of them if King would allow it.

6. I am a trivia fiend, most people won't play against me.

7. I can seem indecisive at times but only when I honestly have no real opinion on the matter.

8. I abhor laundry duty but am so OCD about the way things are done that I HAVE to do the laundry.

9. My dogs makes me laugh every day.

10. My Puerto Rican step-father raised me, and while I didn't learn to speak Spanish I can pick out a lot of the words and I tend to enjoy watching the tele-novellas on the Spanish channel.

11. I love to grow orchids and wish I had a greenhouse to grow more of them.

12. I want to go back to college, but I don't know what for.

13. I have lived almost everywhere in this country but would go home to Northern California in a second.

14. I fucking swear a shit-ton (Thnx Erica)

15. I'm dying to get out in my new garden. Stop laughing, yes I garden.

16. I have an irrational fear of shell fish, they look like bugs.

17. I wish I had taken better care of myself in my youth.

18. I'm actually starting to like my sister.

19. I would rather do it wrong 50 times than ask for help.

20. I'm both over-protective and a total slacker when it comes to my boys.

21. I've been meaning to learn how to sew, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. My MIL even gave me a sewing machine for Christmas 2 years ago and I have yet to use it.

22. I procrastinate.

23. I can't think of the last time I had someone just "stop by" to visit.

24. I haven't lived within 50 miles of a good friend in several years. Mostly just acquaintances.

25. I'm happy with the way things have turned out. I'm happily married, my kids are happy and healthy and our lives are going well.

So now as far as blogs I'm gonna tag..... Holly, Beth, Jewels, Lisa, Melody and her sister, and finally Jenny (c'mon you're bored waiting for that bebe anyway)
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Friday, January 23, 2009

I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes....

"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." ~Lewis Grizzard

Two of my favorite blogging women are having give-a-ways this week from Eden Fantasys, and I highly recommend you check them out.

At Secret Agent Mama, Mishi is giving away a gift certificate. Over at The Only Thing I Know, Judith is giving away a sex sling. Nope, you read that right....SEX SLING.

So run on over and enter to win both, we both know you kinda want to....*wink*
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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Over the river and through the woods.... Grandmother's house we go....

Okay so being only 33 and my eldest child being only 11 I probably don't have to worry a ton about grandchildren (unless there's something The King has neglected to mention), but for some reason I started thinking the other day about what I want my grandchildren to call me once they are here and can speak.

In my family growing up I had Grandma N and Grandpa C, Grandma R and Grandpa F and when mom remarried Abuelita and Grampa when someone said "Call Grandma back" I'd say "which one?". Same thing with my Grandpas. The only one I knew for sure was Abuelita, otherwise it was just too confusing.

When The King and I got preggo with Knave we immediately started trying to figure out names for all the Grands, we also had to take into consideration the fact that most of my Grands were still alive and ALL of The King's Grands were still living. This took a lot of thought and of course input from the Grands themselves.

My parents went with Papi (my stepfather is Puerto Rican) and Nonna. My father went with Papa D. The King's folks decided on Papa & Nana. It all worked out okay because the Great Grands all basically kept their previous titles, though my maternal Grandmother (now widowed) decided to have the boys call her GiGi, as in G G (Great Grand).

So here's where my new found urge to pick my 'Grand' title comes from.....even if my first grandchild doesn't show up for 15 years, our parents are young enough to still be around (and so is GiGi).

So what to call ourselves to avoid the confusion?

The King wants to be called Opa, he says it sounds fun and he wants to be a fun Grandpa. Since German is part of his heritage and mine, I figure why not. Now I on the other hand would like to be called Mémé (French for granny). I figure if we are lucky enough to become Great Grands someday maybe then I can be Oma to King's Opa....
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Goin' to the Movies....

The King and I told the boys that we would take them to a movie last weekend and after much discussion and a little bit of a disagreement about whether or not 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' was an "Ernest" movie in disguise, we agreed on 'Bedtime Stories' so we looked up movie times and made a plan for later that day.

As usual on the weekend The King practiced his hobby of holding down the furniture so it doesn't blow away when the warm air blows out of the furnace, it was while he was doing this that he happened upon an ad for 'Inkheart' and decided that he wanted to wait till this weekend to go to the movies because 'Inkheart' is the movie he really wants to see....

Honestly I was thrilled, and so was Ace.......Knave on the other hand has been moping since I said I would rather be blinded by birds than watch 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop', so he of course had to be contrary about it. I've decided that Knave is going whether he likes it or not. If I have to I guess can watch 'Paul Blart' on DVD with him when it comes out (Remind me to drink that day, Thanks).

Ace has read the book you see so he is already a fan, I plan to read them soon I promise. So what's all the hubbub about? Well take a look.....

I'll let you know next week if it lived up to Ace's expectations, but I have to say a date with my King (even if I have to bring the kiddies) is a wonderful thing so I'm already happy!
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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"I've come to wish you an Unhappy Birthday...."

I love that song. It's by The Smiths. Every year on my birthday I hear this song playing in my head all day long. I'm not really sure why, it's not as though my birthday is particularly bad every year or something.....actually, my 30th birthday was a blast.

My birthdays just tend to be kind of lonely.

My parents live out west as does my sister and most of my friends. I have some other friends scattered around the country but none that are close enough to come for a birthday dinner and make it home that same night.....makes it hard to have a celebration.

Then again it's kinda always been that way, for one thing it's way too close to Christmas and for another it's almost always frigid or overly snowy. Not exactly the kind of weather you drag people out in.....

So this year it's just gonna be the King, Ace, Knave, the pups and I but I think it's gonna be a good one. The sun is shining and there's fresh powder, I even got to sleep in thanks to a snow day so hey, Happy Birthday to me!
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Books, books...I love them...

Recommended by Qweenie

A Charmed Death
The Trouble With Magic
Armed and Glamorous
Grave Apparel
Hostile Makeover
Raiders of the Lost Corset
Designer Knockoff
Killer Hair
Red Knife: A Cork O'Connor Mystery
The Queen's Fool
Thunder Bay: A Cork O'Connor Mystery
Just One Look
The Everafter War
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Eyre Affair
Snow Blind
Dead Run
Phantom Prey
Drowning Ruth

Qweenie's favorite books »


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