Spring is coming...which means summer is right behind!!

I was recently contacted by a rep from The Fresh Air Fund. The Fresh Air Fund is an independent, not-for-profit agency, that has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million New York City children from low-income communities.

The thing is though...they need your help!

First off they rely on donations, your donations help to provide memorable summers to NYC children. So donate what you can, please.

Second, and this one is the best, they need host families! Host families are volunteers who live in the suburbs or small town communities. Host families range in size, ethnicity and background, but share the desire to open their hearts and homes to give city children an experience they will never forget. Hosts say the Fresh Air experience is as enriching for their own families, as it is for the inner-city children. There are no financial requirements for hosting a child. Volunteers may request the age-group and gender of the Fresh Air youngster they would like to host.

So please, please if you are in the NY area please consider helping out. Every kid deserves a summer in the "country"! My kids spend most of their summers at a cottage on a beautiful lake in Northern Minnesota and I know that their lives are enriched by the time spent there.....I wish I could send some of these kids there!

So what do you say? Can you spare some time or a little money to change a kids life?

Click here to learn more about becoming a host or call (800) 367-0003!

Thnx for listening.....*climbs off soapbox*

Thank you, ah thank you very much.....

We finally got our holiday thank you cards done....yeah I know....late.

I know some people think thank you cards are an outdated ritual that have no place in modern times. As a matter of fact why send hand written thank yous when an email or phone call will suffice?

Well because it's a nice thing to do.....imagine the look on your gift givers face when they get the mail and begin sorting through the daily pile of junk mail and bills only to find that little hand addressed envelope....

...and then they open it and read that not only did you like the gift but you're so glad they thought of you on your day (or holiday) and that you miss them or love them or plan to see them soon....

....and they smile....they smile because you have added just a tiny bit of sunshine to their day. Out there in the world of junk mail and bills someone appreciates them and cares how they feel....

And that to me is what makes it all worth it...

OH AND....my kids wrote theirs this year without a fight....YAY!!

Shenanigans!

Shenanigan

she·nan·i·gan
(plural she·nan·i·gans)

noun
Definition:

1. questionable act: something that is deceitful, underhanded, or otherwise questionable ( usually used in the plural )

2. trick or prank: a playful trick, mischievous prank, or other display of high spirits

[Mid-19th century]

I love that word....Shenanigans!

It just rolls off the tongue....and it sounds like what it means...mischief. How fun! I love trouble, well good mischief anyway....

My husband and I love shenanigans, especially if we're pulling shenanigans on the kids...and our kids were born suckers. Unfortunately they're getting smarter, they're onto us now. We have to plan bigger and better, and be very flexible. There used to be a time when a simple fabrication could bring a days worth of giggles to the King and I.....

Like the time they were whining during a particularly long car ride and we started telling them about their older "brother" Bruce.

"Bruce used to chew bubble gum."

"Oh yeah Bruce was a huge vikings fan."

"Man could Bruce catch fish! He was a born fisherman I tell ya..."

"Bruce used to whine in the car too, that's why we left him at that truck stop...."

and then from the backseat...."Heeeeeyyyy you guys made Bruce up, didn't you?"
They were answered with gales of laughter from the front seat but now they've caught on...

They're doing it back to us now, and they're getting really good at it. Really good.

My mother sent them fake dog doo for Christmas, so it's a safe guess that this is genetic. She was the Queen of Shenanigans when I was a kid and I learned well....

I think as she hands the torch (or dog doo) down to the next generation, I can safely say that they too have learned well.

Cuz time-outs only work for so long.....

Kids will test you.....

When people tell you that kids aren't doing things maliciously, they are stupid or childless, or their children walk all over them and they're oblivious....

Because children WILL test you, and they test you to see what they have to do, how far to go to get what they want...

It's human nature....

and guess what people "Children are human too!!"

But here's a little tip from me to you, you are in fact, the adult in the situation....

That means you get to dole out random punishment with out time limits, you get to swat a butt if you feel it necessary and you sure as hell have the right to make their life harder for 5 damn minutes....

I am so sick of people who say "we don't eat at restaurants because the kids won't behave" or "oh he makes that noise all the time, we just ignore it"....

The hell you say!

You are the adult, you explain the behavior you expect, and the consequences for not behaving appropriately in each situation....and then, and here's the biggest part, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

YOU have to be the bad guy, you are NOT their friend, You are their teacher....their PARENT.

I promise you my kids are far from perfect and I don't go around beating them all day (though some days it seems like I should start) but they are well behaved in public, they treat people with respect and they never make other people homicidal while they are TRYING to enjoy a nice dinner out at the local Olive Garden.....

okay so maybe I have an agenda with this post....

perhaps it's not just about me trying to pass on some helpful tips to my readers....

Maybe I just want the woman with the over-tired kindergartner to drag his squealing ass out to the car and take him home so I can enjoy my umlimited salad and bread sticks in peace....

Oh, and um, Waitress.....

Yes, could I have some more of that free sample wine please...Thank you!


Next time I'll tell ya'll about how after enough "free samples" of wine at Olive Garden, you won't care how loud other peoples children are.....or whether you had shoes on when you got there.....

the goose is getting fat.....

Today I am one step closer to being ready for the holidays......




THE TREE IS DONE!!

Now to do the rest.....

Baking cookies, checking the naughty list (I just know I made it on there this year...WOOT!), shopping, cleaning, more baking, a little more decorating....

I'm already too tired for all this....

Perhaps an Irish coffee and a warm fire is more my speed....

I'll just tell the kids that they were so naughty Santa won't even be stopping to give them coal....

Is it possible to find convincing coal nowadays? I mean if I use a brickette won't they figure that out? I guess they are fairly smart, hell they already know I'm lying about Santa....

So coal is out....

Better go for the 'Martha Stewart' version of Christmas instead....

Could someone get me her number please, I'll pay her in snarky comments and gin...

"P" is for Poop

Do I need an introduction? Perhaps. I'm "Mare", as Qweenie has called me for the last 23 years. Our friendship started out innocently in an English class where the teacher's less-than-lady-like posture and disposition completely distracted us with a crotch shot every day for an hour. We were 11-year-old girls. She was the giggly one. Here we are, 23 years later, plotting and planning, as usual. We are still those little girls, only now, we're much taller and have our own children.

Those children are the very thing keeping our lives more than interesting in a way that only a mommy can understand. I have a 6-year-old boy and a 3.5-year-old girl. Both are very entertaining and mildly annoying at the same time. I love them with all my life.

My son, we'll call him "Lo", has a fascination with poop. Not the fecal matter itself, but the word and the thought of it. He finds it humorous in ways that I cannot explain. It sounds funny. It looks funny. To think about it is funny. To hear one say the word "poop" puts him into a hysterical, giggling fit that only stops when I use the "big voice" to tell him that poop, indeed, is not funny.

I walked away from him as he was doing his homework the other day. His task was to draw 3 items that begin with the letter "P". I thought this was an easy task not warranting supervision. So, ten minutes later my child brings his piece of artistic mastery to me and I proceed to quiz him.

Mom: "What's this triangle with the circles on it?"
Lo: "A piece of pizza."
Mom: "What's this circle with the little yellow square on it?"
Lo: "A pancake with butter on it."
Mom: "Is that a hot dog?"
Lo: "No."
Mom: "Then what is it?"
Lo: "It's a poop." (hysterics ensue)

Yes, it was a log. I shouldn't have, because my job is to set an example, but went ahead and laughed my ass off, then proceeded to pick up the phone and dial. I had to share this with someone and who better to share it with than my BFF of 23 years? She masterminded a plan that would then turn the poop into a dachshund "puppy" by adding legs, a head and a tail. His teacher is none the wiser.

Today's bit of awesome mom-ness was brought to you by the letter "P".

~"Mare"~
(Guest Blogger Extraordinaire)
-Visit my photo blog-

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Thanks for sharing with us Mare. Please come back again soon and tell us more funny/crude kid stories....they're my FAVORITE!!

Do you Believe??

My kids have finally gotten to the age where they know that Santa isn't real.....they still believe in the magic of Christmas they just don't buy the one guy theory.

I LOVE Christmas and all things Christmas so in our house I try to keep the spirit of the season, the "magic", going. We bake cookies and give them to neighbors, we donate money, time and items to various charities.....we do whatever we can to support the season of giving.

And of course we are writing our letters to Santa.....

Imagine how thrilled I was to find out that Macy's is collecting letters in a special Santa letterbox at all Macy’s stores. For each letter received, Macy’s will donate $1 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. They have a Believe O Meter to measure the amount of letter they receive and special displays in the stores.

Make-A-Wish is a wonderful foundation and I am so happy to be able to do something to support them!! So if you have some time please sit down with someone you love and write a couple of letters to Santa, and be sure to check out the banner I'm putting in the side bar through Christmas.....Thanks guys! And Merry Christmas to you all!!

The Return of The King or Hubby Comes Home.....

So I mentioned yesterday that my hubby, The King, has been living in a hotel in another state while waiting for the kids, the dogs and I to get moved down to him.

Don't feel bad for him (just in case you were) he's perfectly comfy and even has an indoor pool and hot tub to use.

Tomorrow The King returns....he's coming home for the holiday and it couldn't happen fast enough! Not only do I miss the sound of him snoring in the bed next to me, but I need a break from these damn kids! I may run out of the house screaming as soon as he gets here.

I have had it with this single mommy thing I've got going on.... I have always admired single moms because I had a single mom (for a period of time) and I know how hard the job can be to do alone. Let me just say that I HATE IT! IT SUCKS!

I am tired. I am stressed. I hate homework. I am sick of cartoons.

Did you know Jabba the Hut had a gay uncle? Well now you know. I didn't know, but I had to watch The Clone Wars with the kids because Dad wasn't here and now I know.

If my youngest 'sings' the last words that come out of my mouth ONE MORE TIME, I will burst!

The dogs are driving me nuts, Winnie likes to sit in the recliner with Dad and get snuggled so now she jumps into my lap every time I sit down.

The beings in my house NEED their daddy.......I just need a coffee break!!

Please send help.....a life jacket, a raft......a Starbucks gift card perhaps*....... OR just good vibes for clear roads so that King can get home tomorrow!

*All donations (whether material or spiritual) are appreciated!

Haiku Friday: Blocked yet Bailed Out

My Haiku's are brought to you today by The Ace of Hearts' little girl friend whom we'll call "The Hatter" as she's quite crazy and funny and just an all around "mad" kid.

The Hatter learned about haiku in school and when I mentioned Haiku Friday she asked if she could write some for my blog. Since I've not posted anything in quite some time (ie; blocked) I figured it couldn't hurt.

So here you are Haiku Friday brought to you by a 10 yo "Hatter".....

Haiku's are poems
they are like short word puzzles
they don't need to rhyme


Pigs really like mud
Monkeys do not like mud
but I do like mud


Trees are brown and green
though there is color inside
that is always missed


Will pigs ever fly?
I think it may happen soon
they should stay on land


So what do y'all think? She did a great job in my opinion but then I'm biased because I like the kid. Thanks "Hatter"!!

For more Haiku Friday or to play along please go visit over at A Mommy Story.

Weekly Winners: Sept. 21-27

The King and his girl.....

End of Summer....

The Babysitter....

Nature finds a way.....

For more Weekly Winners please visit Lotus, she's an excellent hostess I promise!

Wordless Wednesday

I planned to put up photos of the "after" of my livingroom, of course I did not plan on my kids making a huge mess and it needing to be cleaned FIRST. Ohwell maybe next time....instead here's a pic of my puppy-in-law Ellie. She a very sweet girl and I just had to get her up on my blog.

Some Photos for Now.....

I know I have neglected you all horribly! I am a hateful person for doing it and I apologize whole heartedly.
I have been super busy with the puppy since my last post and spring is struggling to "sprung" so desperately here that we actually had a 50 degree weekend followed by a school snow day last week.
Baseball starts for the Knave of Hearts this week as well as soccer. The other Knave (of Spades) has soccer starting too but this week he also has the Pinewood Derby for scouts....Whew!! I think there may be too much going on but who am I to complain.....I just keep driving! Hahahaha

Okay on to the photos.....I took some of these at the school science night (I was bored so I played with the camera) and the rest at home. Hope you like!

A word from The Knave of Hearts.....

For those of you who don't know, The Knave of Hearts (KoH) is my oldest son. He has repeatedly begged for his own post. Since he's such a sweet boy I thought today I would accomodate him, so here ya go.......

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In the middle of the night last night, my Beta died.He was nearly 2 years old. It was very sad for me. His name was "Buddy". I had woken up and looked in and he was at the bottom, lying very still. I plan on flushing him soon.........it makes me so sad. I fed him and took care of him everyday.....I just don't know why he had to go now......not later, now.......on a happier note I've passed my first Keyboard test of the year, so I got free-time on the Keyboard!!!! It was wicked awesome!!! The Keyboard next to me was Ginormous!!!! LOL* (for those of you who have watched the movie"elf")!!! :) I had my first dance with a girl!! It was soooo scary, but kind of fun!! Anyway, I didn't regret one thing of it...it was fun!!! Well, I better stop, my foot is falling asleep......and I have to flush my fish now, anyway, I'll probably be back to make another blog.....this is The Knave of Hearts, signing off and bidding you a calm and peaceful night, and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL AND TO ALL A LOVIE NIGHT!!!!!! :)

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So there you have it....My little Knave. Can you believe he's only 10 1/2 ??? I sometimes can't believe it myself....

Okay well now I have to go meander through his baby book *sigh*

......my baby......*sigh*

ya know, I really like vanilla......

so I've been thinking......

What would it be like if things always worked out according to plan? Would things have worked out so well for me? What if I had stayed in California and graduated with my friends? Would I have gone to college or started working right out of school? What if I had gotten a degree in design ? What if I had been a successful career woman? .....

My life is exactly what and where I want it to be. I didn't go to college but I helped my husband get his degree.....I worked my ass off in and after H.S at low paying jobs till I finally made it to management, and then poised on the cusp of truly being recognized I decided to be a wife and mother.... I still would like to get a degree in design one day and maybe even have a home business but for today I am happy to be where I am right now and happy to be who I am right now.

I am a better person than most people ever knew I was. I am a smarter person than people give me credit for. I am a kinder person than I let others know about. I love my husband with every fiber of my being, he is a kind and tolerant man, a wonderful lover and above all else a great father. He makes me laugh and he's my best friend.

It sounds so cliche to say that life is what you make it.....but it really is. If you spend all your time worring about things you can't control, you'll miss all the little things that make life a real adventure!!

Sometimes we forget to count our blessings.....sometimes ya just gotta try to find some.....and sometimes there are so many you can't count them all......!!!!!!!

I'm begining to sound like a cult member so I think I'll be done now, but don't worry I'll be pissed as hell about something silly tomorrow and all this will be forgotten for a while............

Oh the weather outside is frightful......

Today they called off school. It's in the single digits and snow is blowing all over the place. We're all bundled up in our blankies still wearing our jammies.... Gotta love a snow day!! Think I'll take another nap.....neener!!

So much to do.......

I spent the better part of today avoiding doing any Holiday prep at all. See I didn't notice that it was the 10th already and well, I haven't done a thing to get ready so far. There are no lights on my house, no tree in the living room, no cookies baking and NO cards sent. Yep, I haven't even started my cards, let alone have them ready for mailing.

I feel like Scrooge. I don't give two shits about Christmas this year. I don't understand that feeling but there it is, slapping me in the face every time I turn around. I don't know maybe it's because I work my ass of to get it all up and then again to tear it all down and everybody else just gets to enjoy it......

Oh did I mention that I have to do all the present shopping. Yes, me....all by myself. I buy, I wrap, I stick it under the damn tree. I do these things so that my family has a merry Christmas but dammit, I want a merry Christmas too!! I want a massage and a Mani/Pedi! I want to get my hair done and go out to eat. I do NOT want to lift a finger, oh but I will. I will dutifully bake, wrap and decorate and in January I will tear down and pack away. That's what a wife/mother does for those she loves.

I tell you what though, as soon as those kids of mine get old enough THEY will be the ones hanging lights and baking!

Something fowl is afoot......

The kids were out of school on Wednesday for a Teacher In Service day, which is just great but why in the middle of the week?? I don't know but the point is I was ill prepared because for some reason I had convinced myself that the day off would be Thursday.

Anywho, I decided to drag my kids to Super Wally World, because A) we need some groceries and B)I am a masochist. Despite all my best efforts to make the trip as quick and painless as possible it was predestined to be a complete headache and was.

By the time we got to the check out I had decided to run away from home. I loaded the conveyor belt and continued to empty the cart while trying to watch as the checker rang up my purchases..... I thought that the running total looked a tad high but hey, I'm an impulse shopper so I'm sure I just threw something in the cart that I neither needed nor really wanted and simply forgot.
Of course it did seem like a REALLY lot of money to be over.....

The boys of course are still bickering at each other and making me nuts so I pay the grand total and start to leave, as is my regular habit I decide to check my receipt before leaving the store. That's when I see......Poultry $98.54!!!

What??

Wait just a second, I bought a 1 pound package of chicken, not a fricken Ostrich!

So I turn around and head to customer service where I begin trying to explain to the idiot behind the counter that it was a small one pound package not half the meat section. She rolls her eyes at me as if to say "yeah right" and proceeds to price check my chicken.....it rings up $98.54. Slowly a look of apology washes over her face, and she credits me back the ninety-eight dollars.

So what was the point to my story??? The point is this, Check your receipts People!! If they'll over charge you for chicken you know that they'll over charge you for tinsel, gift wrap and toys.....Tis the season ya know....Good Luck and Happy Shopping!!!