I believe that more unhappiness comes from this source than from any other - I mean from the attempt to prolong family connections unduly and to make people hang together artificially who would never naturally do so.~~Samuel Butler
I'm on Facebook, as are many many people in this world....
Unfortunately with the fun of re-connecting with long lost friends and family comes the down side of being in a better position to catch shit from those same people...
Yesterday I hit my limit....I don't want to hear from some of these people anymore. I am NOT the whipping boy for their issues and I refuse to allow them to treat me as such. So....
Dear Family,
Just because we are related doesn't mean we are friends. there are many things that I do in my life that you won't like, just as there are things you do that make me nuts. You have the option to ignore those and love me anyway (as I do with you for the most part) OR you can choose to be a total ass about it and let it ruin our relationship for good.
I did not move as far away as I did to hurt YOU. I did it for the benefit of MY little family. At no time were YOUR feelings considered when my husband and I made this decision for our financial future.
To lay blame, for not seeing us, at our door is ridiculous. We make trips to your neck of the woods every couple of months. That you choose to act oblivious to that or just plain ignore it is on YOU, not me. I think it's the most horrible bunch of crap that you would imply that even though I have driven 6 hours with both my kids (and usually with both my dogs) to a whole other state I should then drive one more hour just to see you when clearly it would make more sense for you to bring your ass to me.
Don't tell me about how much you'd love to see my kids more often when you make no effort to do so on your own. You are the adult. You have a car. You can come see us at anytime, I have extended invitations on many many occasions and have been shot down.
I refuse to feel guilty because YOU weren't told about a family gathering that I attended (and you did not) when it was in the town where you live and you were just too lazy to pick up a phone and ask someone. I didn't plan the gathering...I announced my plans to stop by on my way through town on Facebook, and since you are my 'friend' I figured you'd see it. Other family members did and they showed up.
I have had the same cell number for 9 years. I don't change it, despite leaving the state 4 years ago, because I want to be accessible to you. Your number changes fairly often, mine does not. That you would have the balls to say I should have called you is dumb. YOU should call me. I've called you repeatedly over the years...it's your turn. There is no reason you can't pick up a damn phone and call me.
I refuse to feel guilty about everything I do. I refuse to put forth all the effort in our relationship anymore. From this day forward I will treat you as you have treated/treat me.
I have figured out over the years, thanks to your behavior toward me, that I don't need you. I have a wonderful family of my own making. I have 'sisters' I love and who love me. My kids have 'Aunts & Uncles' that most people would be lucky to have. And though we would love for you to be a part of our lives we don't NEED you to be if you don't want to be.
On that note let me just add....
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.~~Richard Bach
Thank you for your time.
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